Woke up this morning feeling kinda off, like something was buzzing in the air but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Checked my horoscope app over coffee – big mistake. That October 26 alert screamed about “intense cosmic shifts” and “critical decisions.” Rolled my eyes hard, but figured eh, let’s play along.
First thing: pulled out my dusty journal. Scribbled down the main warnings – something about Mercury acting up and Mars getting pushy. Underlined AVOID IMPULSIVE MOVES three times cause Lord knows I’d buy another dying houseplant otherwise.
Decided to tackle work emails head-on before the “cosmic chaos” hit. Archived 62 old messages like my life depended on it. Felt weirdly productive until Dave from accounting sent a passive-aggressive Slack about budget reports. Almost fired back a sassy reply – then remembered Mars was probably egging me on. Chugged water instead. Small win.
Lunch break came around so I attempted the horoscope’s “grounding ritual”:
- Walked barefoot on my apartment balcony (cold concrete sucks)
- Tried humming some mantra (forgot the tune halfway)
- Stared at clouds pretending they were spirit animals (saw a duck, not sure what that means)
Afternoon brought actual drama – client meeting got rescheduled last minute. Felt that Mercury retrograde nonsense kicking in. Instead of rage-texting like usual, I did that breathing trick from last month’s yoga video. Three seconds in, four seconds out. Shockingly didn’t yeet my phone.
Evening was supposed to be about “nurturing relationships” per Jupiter’s advice. Ordered pizza instead of cooking. Facetimed Mom while eating pepperoni straight from the box. Counts as bonding, right?
Final verdict: Maybe cosmic energy’s real, maybe it’s placebo. Either way, consciously avoiding dumb decisions made today smoother. Didn’t punch any walls or buy crypto. Calling that a cosmic W.
