by My Messy Astrology Morning
Woke up earlier than usual today, sun wasn’t even properly up yet. Couldn’t get back to sleep, brain buzzing about nothing specific. Grabbed my cold coffee from last night – yeah, gross, but needed something to kickstart the brain. Scrolled through my phone aimlessly for ages, just endless cat videos and ads.
Then bam, this ridiculous ad pops up: “October 17th Astrology Secrets: Find Out Your Personality Traits Now“. Had this picture of stars swirling and stuff. Looked like total garbage, you know? One of those online quiz things promising the secrets of the universe. Normally I’d swipe right past it, faster than you can say “horoscope”. But maybe it was the cold coffee, maybe the weird early hour brain fog… I don’t know. Curiosity got the better of me. “Alright, you stupid stars,” I mumbled to myself, “let’s see what nonsense you got for me today.” Clicked it.
It dumped me onto this super bright, noisy webpage. Flashing lights, loud colors – felt like walking into a bargain store. Had to answer questions like:
- What’s your birthday? (Obviously put October 17th, since that was the whole point, right?)
- What time were you born? Who even knows that?! Picked “Morning” cause it sounded nice.
- If you were a fruit, what would you be? Seriously? Went with Orange, cause they’re sitting on my counter.
- First thing you do when you wake up? (Hitting snooze, obviously)
- Pick a random constellation picture? Just clicked the shiniest one.
Felt kinda dumb clicking through all that. Took like five whole minutes of my life I won’t get back.
Finally hit “Reveal Your Destiny!” or whatever the button said. Held my breath… for no reason. Results popped up.
And man, it was wild. According to the “October 17th Stars”, I’m a super complicated mix. Here’s the lowdown it gave me:
- Super Deep Thinker: Ha! My boss yesterday literally asked if I left my brain at home.
- Bursts of Crazy Energy: Okay, maybe sometimes after that third coffee. Mostly I’m just tired.
- Secretly Sensitive: Tell that to the guy I accidentally ghosted last week because I forgot to reply.
- Natural Born Leader: I struggle to lead myself to the fridge most days.
It also told me my biggest challenge was “overcoming indecision”. Perfect. Because now I couldn’t decide if this was hilarious or slightly creepy! Laughed out loud reading this stuff. It was a mess of contradictions, just like everyone’s personality really.
Got me thinking about this junk, though. Why do we do this? Why click the dumb ads? I guess it all started back during the endless COVID lockdowns. Stuck inside my tiny apartment for weeks, months even. Going nuts with the same four walls. Bored out of my skull. Couldn’t even meet friends for a beer. Started doom-scrolling like a maniac, clicking on anything vaguely interesting.
That’s when I stumbled onto my first astrology quiz. Something like “What Sandwich Are You Based On Your Moon Sign?”. Utter garbage, obviously. But you know what? It was different. It was stupid fun. A tiny, ridiculous escape from the crushing boredom and worrying news headlines. Just clicked for five minutes, got told I was a “Rebellious BLT”, laughed, and moved on. Became a weird little habit whenever the walls felt like they were closing in. Today was just a leftover twitch from that time, poking at the stupid star button again. Proof that old habits die hard, even the completely pointless ones.
Anyway, that was my early morning detour. Turns out the October 17th stars think I’m a deep, sensitive leader who can’t make up his mind. Take from that what you will. Mostly take that these online things are good for a laugh and zero actual life guidance. The stars don’t know me, they just know I picked Orange for no reason. Back to my reheated coffee.
