by Okay, so I thought it’d be fun to try my hand at writing horoscope predictions for October 22nd. Like, not just reading ’em, but actually making ’em up myself. Sounded easy at first, right? Boy, was I wrong.
How It Started
First, I grabbed my coffee and pulled up a bunch of old horoscope sites I usually check. Figured I’d see what vibe they usually throw out for Scorpio season. Noticed a pattern – lots of talk about “transformations” and “digging deep,” whatever that means. Almost snorted my drink seeing how vague some were. “Financial shifts” could mean finding a dollar or losing your wallet!
Next, I split my notebook into 12 sections – one for each sign. Started scribbling stuff that felt “right” for each. Like:
- Aries: “Stop arguing with the microwave.” (Hey, they’re fiery!)
- Cancer: “Call ya mom. No, seriously.”
- Capricorn: “Yes, working late again. We know.”
Where Things Got Stupid
Got stuck on Libra forever. “Finding balance”? Too cliché. Wrote “Your indecisiveness will peak today – maybe.” Then scratched it out. Accidentally ripped the page. Awesome.
Tried making Aquarius sound mysterious: “The stars whisper… about your weird playlist choices.” Felt ridiculous. Tossed three drafts in the bin. My cat judged me hard.
Finally Slapped Something Together
After two hours, I gave up trying to sound profound. Wrote whatever popped into my head. For Scorpio? “Someone’s hiding snacks. Hunt them down.” For Gemini? “Double texts incoming. Brace yourself.” Not exactly mystical, but honest.
Posted it to my blog around lunchtime, calling it “October 22nd Predictions – Unfiltered Star Gossip.” Added a disclaimer: “Probably 90% wrong. Blame Mercury, not me.”
What Actually Happened
My Virgo friend texted me screaming because her horoscope said “Embrace chaos,” and her kid puked on her laptop. My Sagittarius pal loved his – “Impulse buys justified today” – showed off his new neon lawn flamingos.
So yeah. Learned that making horoscopes is basically throwing glitter at a wall and calling it wisdom. Might do it again next week. Maybe just tell Leos to take more selfies and call it a day.
