Why I even tried this
Okay, so my wife kept going on about cosmic energy and how June 21st was some big deal with the stars aligning or whatever. She’s super into that stuff. Normally, I just nod and move on, but she was really pushing this one. “Just try it, see what it says!” So, fine. Whatever. Tuesday night, after the kids finally crashed out, I figured what the heck. Couch was calling my name anyway. Grabbed my phone instead.
Finding the dumb thing
First step? Actually find a place online that does daily horoscopes. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Pulled up a search page and typed “horoscope today”. Holy crap. Thousands of results. All these fancy astrology websites with big pop-ups asking for my email address before they’d tell me anything. No way. Scrolled past like fifteen of those. Finally found this one plain-looking site near the bottom that didn’t have a stupid sign-up wall. Clicked it. Page loaded slow as anything, felt like forever.
Figuring out my sign
Site loaded. Still annoying. Had to tell it my birthday so it knew my star sign. Mine’s Cancer. Typed that in – June 22nd to July 22nd, I think? Always forget. Had to scroll down a menu to find ‘Cancer’. Hit that.
Then it asked:
- What kind? Like, daily? Weekly? Went with “Daily”.
- Which day? Selected June 21st.
Clicked that big dumb button that said “Read Your Fortune” or something dramatic like that. Spinner spun for a bit. Loading.
The big reveal (or lack thereof)
Text finally popped up. Started reading. Something about “aligning with cosmic forces” and “reassessing home life”. Lots of vague stuff like:
- You might feel sensitive today!
- Good time to chat with loved ones!
- Watch out for mood swings!
Seriously? Groundbreaking. Felt like generic advice anyone could get any day. Nothing specific about June 21st being extra special. Just the usual “be nice” and “feel your feelings”. Could have written it myself.
Waste of time?
Sat there looking at the phone. Yeah, total waste of time. That cosmic energy my wife was buzzing about? Didn’t feel it. Didn’t learn anything new. Didn’t suddenly understand my purpose. Felt the same as any other Wednesday night. Maybe a bit more tired now because I stayed up doing this nonsense. Shrugged it off. Probably won’t tell my wife I did it – she’d just ask for details I don’t have. Closed the browser tab. Went and got water instead. Real life feels a lot more solid than whatever the stars are supposedly doing.
