Alright so this morning I was scratching my chin thinking ‘Man what should I write today?’ when my phone lit up with this notification ‘Your Daily Horoscope is Ready!’
Normally I skip these things but something made me click it this time. Grabbed my coffee – real stuff not that sugar water people call ‘latte’ – and kicked my feet up on the porch. The June 17th one promised ‘transformative energy’ or whatever. Honestly sounded like every other horoscope but hey, free content right?
So Here’s What I Actually Did
First line hit me: ‘Old conflicts resurface.’ Almost spit my coffee out because Karen from accounting just messaged me about last month’s stupid budget mix-up. I kinda thought we moved past that? Nope. Right there in my inbox yelling at 7 AM.
The horoscope told me to ‘initiate dialogue with compassion.’ Ugh. I hate that fluffy talk. But I sighed and typed ‘Hey Karen sorry bout that. Coffee Monday?’ instead of my usual ‘Bro check the spreadsheet again.’ Hit send before I could chicken out.
Next part said ‘financial opportunities knock after 2 PM.’ Rolled my eyes hard. But then my old client Dave called at 2:37 PM asking if I could fix his website mess. Charge extra? You bet I did.
Oh and the big dramatic advice: ‘Release what no longer serves you.’ Felt real deep until I looked at my closet full of holey t-shirts from college. So yeah. Tossed three band tees and half-burnt candles while mumbling ‘transformative energy’ like a weirdo.
So Did It Work?
Kinda? Here’s my messy human takeaway:
- Karen didn’t bite my head off – might actually get coffee.
- Made $250 thanks to Dave’s conveniently timed chaos.
- My closet smells less like wet dog now.
Honestly though? The ‘key advice’ didn’t feel like magic life instructions. More like a reminder to do stuff I already knew I should do – talk nicer, work smarter, throw out junk. But maybe that’s the point? Like getting a text from the universe saying ‘Hey Dummy Clean Your Closet Already.’
Would I follow horoscope again tomorrow? Probably not on purpose. But if Karen shows up Monday wearing my old college shirt? Might believe in star magic after all.
